The Real Hiei
by KitsuneGirl911
Summary: A parody of Eminem's song: The Real Slim Shady, slight Yaoi, HieiKurama, Kuwa bashing, etc.


Disclaimer: Roses are red, Violets are not, I don't own Yu Yu Hakusho  
or The Real Slim Shady By: Eminem, so don't sue, I don't have a lot.  
The Real Hiei  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real Hiei please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Hiei please stand up?  
We're gonna have a problem here..  
Y'all act like you never seen a fire youkai before  
Jaws all on the floor like Zaru, like Toguro just burst in the door  
And started whoopin your ass worse than before  
They first were fine, throwin him around (Ahh!)  
It's the return of the. "Ah, wait you're kidding, he didn't just do what I  
think he did, did he?"  
And Kuwabara said.. Nothing you bakas!  
Kuwabara's dead, he's locked in Kurama's basement! (Ha Ha!)  
All the women love Kurama, " He's so cute!"  
Yeah they probably got a couple of screws up in their heads loose  
But no worse than what's goin on in Kurama's bedroom  
Sometimes I wanna just get out and let my dragon loose, but can't  
But it's cool for Kuwabara to hump a dead moose  
They aint nothing but humans. well, some of them watch me cut other people  
open like cantaloupes  
There's no reason that a man and another man can't elope (K: Yeah!)  
No one can feel like I feel, I got no antidote  
Just sing the chorus it goes:  
I'm Hiei, yes I'm the real Hiei  
All you other Hieis are just imitating  
So wont the real Hiei please stand up,  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
Yusuke don't gotta cuss in his fights to beat them;  
Well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too!  
Do you think I give a damn about Granny?  
Half you ningens can't even look at me, let alone stand me  
" But Hiei, what if you lose, wouldn't it be weird?"  
Why? So you guys could just get me to die here?  
Try to make the things I've killed face their fears?  
Shit, Koenma and me better switch chairs  
So I can sit next to Botan and George  
And hear em argue over who I killed first?  
Hear the girl youkai talk about me  
"Yeah he's cute but I think he's with Kurama, hee-hee!"  
I should just unwrap my black dragon  
And show the whole world why you don't p.o. me! (AHHH!)  
I'm sick of you little human boys and girls, all you do is annoy me  
So I have come here to kill you ( Black dragon roars)  
And there's a million yokai just like me  
Who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me  
Who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me  
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!  
I'm Hiei, yes I'm the real Hiei  
All you other Hieis are just imitating  
So wont the real Hiei please stand up,  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
I'm like a torture to be nice to, cause I'm only giving you  
Things to fret about alone inside your living room  
The only difference is you got the dragon to answer to  
Kurama and Yukina don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all  
I'll just get my katana and put fresh blood on it  
And whether you'll admit it to my 'little friends' (grr) I just shit it  
Better than 90% of you youkai out there can  
Then you wonder how my dragon can eat up these kids like popcorn  
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when a decade has passed  
Me an' Kurama will be the only ones in the Maikai living  
Pinchin kurama's asses* when I'm torturing ningens  
And I'm torturing but this whole idea isn't working  
And every single person is a fire demon lurkin  
He could be working at Burger King, burnin your onion rings (sizzle)  
Or in the parking lot, killing  
Screaming " I don't give a fuck!"  
With his wards off and his power up  
So, will the real Hiei please stand up?  
And put one hand up?  
And be proud to be a youkai outta his mind, dragon outta control  
And one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?  
  
I'm Hiei, yes I'm the real Hiei  
All you other Hieis are just imitating  
So wont the real Hiei please stand up,  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
I'm Hiei, yes I'm the real Hiei  
All you other Hieis are just imitating  
So wont the real Hiei please stand up,  
Please stand up, please stand up?  
Ha ha  
Guess there's a Hiei in all of us  
Fuck it, let's all stand up  
( AN: * = Kurama has two forms, human and youko ~.^)  
R&R!  
If you don't Hiei will go to your house at night!  
MUAHAAAAHHAAAAAHAAAA*cough , hack* HAAAAHAAAA!  
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